I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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