Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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