The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
