i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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