i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He passed out mid-signature
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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