What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
