three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
