The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
