I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
why do cheetos always look like penises
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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