hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
