I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
