oh god the rape fog is back!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
