He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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