kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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