so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize