I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
