Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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