what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
