What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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