she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You're so nebulous sometimes
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
