Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
