oh god the rape fog is back!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
