I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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