The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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