This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
