She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he laminated a picture of his dick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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