remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
