dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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