he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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