Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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