There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
