unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
