Dual....:-)
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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