im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I am naked and annoyed.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
