D3 body, D1 cock
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
