how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
