Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
