idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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