arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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