Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
