Kiss
Puke
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
