WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
