Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
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My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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