i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
