Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
