I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Someone shit on the floor
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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