..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
