Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
