I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize