Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
