New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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