i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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