I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Floor bacon is actually really good
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
