Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
