My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
