she looked like the before picture.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
