it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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