Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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