I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
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He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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