whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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