yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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