Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it glows. i had to have it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
