I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize