You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
