I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
