so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize