I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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